In the wake of the storm....

So I decided last year I wanted to start a blog.... I needed an "outlet" or a way to remember the things happening in my family and my life. Then, my life went haywire last year with loss and pain. This year started out much happier. May 1st, 2013 I got engaged to the love of my life, my partner in crime, my other half for the last four wonderful years. Planning our wedding for May 2014. Can't help but show off my new "bling":

This excitement and happiness has me ready to start writing again. I feel like I have joy to share rather than sorrow. SOOOOO... be prepared for wedding planning extravaganza haha. Don't be surprised if I start rambling about centerpieces, DJs, or favors. It WILL happen so consider yourself warned. :-)

It's always a little humbling to enjoy happiness after a time of sorrow. It makes my heart ache a little thinking about the family members I lost last year will not physically be in attendance at my wedding; however, their spirits I know will be by my side through the entire journey.

Another storm I can't ignore as I post today in small town Oklahoma is obviously the tornadoes that swirled through over the last couple days. My heart goes out to all the loss and devastation, but Oklahoma is strong and will thrive through the rubble. We will come back on top, as we always do in times of pain and loss.


I want to share something making its way around social media right now... not sure of it's author:

"And on the 9th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, "I need someone to live where the red dirt is settled." So God made Oklahomans. He said "I need someone who can handle the blistering summers and the freezing winters." So God made Oklahomans. "I need someone who can wake up in the morning, drink black coffee, head out to the fields, cut the wheat, bale the hay, and stay in those fields till long after dark" so God made Oklahomans. "I need people tough enough to stand the heat as they work day in and out on drilling rigs and pumping units." So God made Oklahomans. "I need people to wear Orange & Black, Crimson & Cream and though those schools are rivals, all can rise together to support the Orange & Blue." So God made Oklahomans. "I need people who believe in me and the power of goodness. People who aren't afraid to say 'Hello!' to one another and welcome in visitors to their land with open arms." So God made Oklahomans. "I need people who are strong enough to stand thru the strongest storms and the most devastating heartbreaks" So God made Oklahomans. And amidst the destruction, turn to me for comfort and come together as a state and rise above it all. So God, made Oklahomans."


Watch us rise--we always do; OKC Bombing in 1995, airplane crashes for collegiate sports heroes,Moore tornadoes in 1999, 2003, 2010 and now yesterday... and many other tragedies have struck this state--we come out stronger, braver, and more united every time--I expect nothing less this time around--Proud to be an Okie, today and always.

Out of the Loop

WOW.. I feel so "out of touch" lately. I haven't had wifi at my house for a few months, and I feel like I'm going crazy (or maybe I already was lol). I started back to school last Wednesday so now I "need" the internet back on so next week it will be back... whoo hoo! I know everyone has missed me as much as I've missed writing. haha. Can't wait to get back to "normal". :-) Talk to you soon!

Month of Thankfulness

Wow! Where has this year gone?!? I can't believe it is already November. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for.

On Facebook, the trend this month is to each day list a thing to be thankful for. Last year I did not jump on the "bandwagon" but this year I have, and I enjoy it. Some people complain and say "we should be thankful everyday and not just during November. I completely agree, but we usually don't take the time to say out loud or so public on Facebook the things we are in fact thankful for (and that includes the people that are spouting off that thankfulness isn't limited to November lol).

So I would like to make a short list of the things I'm thankful for on here.

• My sweet AJ. lol. We argue like an old married couple, bicker like siblings, love like soul mates, and share so many memories that I cherish. Our house may not always be clean. We may have dishes and laundry piled up for days, but the love we share brings me true happiness. I love that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. I love that I get to show him true love forever. I love that I get to share more memories with him in the future. 
• My loving family. I am so very thankful to get to have such a large loving family. I love that it may not be blood that bonds us all together, but it is love.
• My friends. It seems like the older we get the more we realize how few friends we have. lol. I love that I don't have to see or talk to some of my special friends every day or even week to know which ones I can count on through thick and thin no matter what. It warms my heart to know they are there for me through it all--good times as well as bad. 
• My job. I'm so thankful to be employed when so many are not. I am so thankful that in turn I have a reliable car, a beautiful home, and all the things I need in life. I may not always have the things I "want" in life, but I am thankful to always have the things I need. 
• My health. I am so thankful that I have my health. I may not be "in shape" or have the figure that everyone thinks I should--even myself lol, but I am thankful for my health as well as my family's health.

Thank you for letting me share my little slice of heaven--also known as my life--with you. I wish you all the best as the holidays are upon us... only 49 shopping days left til Christmas...

A Summer Full of Memories

My family has always meant the world to me. I have always known that I have a wonderful family. I have always known that we can count on each other during the good times and the bad. Thankfully up until 2012 almost all of the times I've been with my family have been good times and the happiest of memories. It's not even September yet and 2012 has been the biggest year of loss my family has experienced in the almost 26 years of my life. In April, we lost my Aunt Wanda (follow link to previous post), and it devastated me that the world lost such a free spirit.

Now, I want to share with the world what a wonderful, Godly man my Pawpaw was, how great my family is and how difficult this journey was on us all...

 (my Pawpaw and me a long, long time ago)

September 2010 the doctors found an extremely rare tumor in the direct center of my Pawpaw's brain. He was 70 years old, and they decided the best course of treatment would be radiation to keep the tumor from growing instead of removing it due to its location and his age. Radiation was not a permanent fix though, and July 9, 2012 he was admitted into ICU because this rapid growing tumor had started growing again. A new doctor had seen his case since 2010 and was willing to try surgery because the tumor was now terminal and radiation was no longer an option. There were great risks with this surgery. My Pawpaw knew them all and as a preacher of God's word for the last 35+ years, he had already made his "peace" with God and knew whatever the outcome, it would be better than what he was experiencing. Surgery was scheduled for Friday, July 13, 2012. I was supposed to start 13 days of vacation the next day. Thankfully my employer and coworkers worked it out so that I was able to join my family during the surgery. I arrived at the hospital that morning prior to them taking him back. We were able to pray with him and each other. He told us he loved us (a memory I will cherish for a lifetime). We cried. We held one another. They came to take him and wheel him to the operating room and we followed him until we weren't allowed any farther. The aching in my chest that he may not make it out of that surgery was one of the most real emotions I've had in my life.



Something I'm not sure we are ever ready for is to see the people we've looked up to our whole life in tears. It is an awful feeling in your core when you see your Daddy holding onto his sisters and mother as his Daddy is being wheeled away to a risky surgery on a terminal brain tumor. It is heart wrenching to think about the worry in their souls, and to see the sorrow on their faces because it is out of their hands. Seeing the strongest people I know at their breaking points was quite possibly the most humbling experience of my life.

(my daddy and his mama)

I learned a lot about myself and my family that day. It seemed like he was in surgery for an eternity.  We sat in silence a lot. Mostly though, we enjoyed each others' company--despite the circumstances. We laughed more than we probably ever thought we would. We laughed til we cried.Then, we cried til we laughed again. I know that God had his hand on us that day (as He does every day) because He was preparing us for the longest journey we've ever endured as a family.

My Pawpaw made it out of surgery 8+ hours later. They were able to remove most of the tumor, but he never really woke up from it. He was barely conscious for the next 13 days. Then, on July 26th, they took him down to insert a drain tube in his head--he already had a shunt, it wasn't working, it was not supposed to be a major event. Most of the family wasn't even in town (he was in the hospital 2+ hours away from where we live), let alone at the hospital when this was taking place. While they were performing this mildly routine procedure, he had a hemorrhage in his brain which sent him into a deep coma, and he was placed on a ventilator. After running tests that weekend and letting him rest, it was determined that next Monday, July 30, 2012 that there was nothing else medically that could be done. We were able to have him transferred back to our home town, they removed the ventilator between 5 and 6 pm that day, and we waited. And we waited. And we waited. We had just thought the previous 3-4 weeks had been exhausting, but nothing could've prepared us for this.

Something I had never honestly thought about in my whole entire life was what happens after "life support" is removed. On TV they make it seem so sudden. They remove the ventilator and then the crying starts, then the flat line and then they raise up the sheet and call "time of death". Well, I'm a television medical drama professional--House and Grey's are my favorites--but this was nothing like that. It was on the verge of torture sitting at his bedside or in the hallway because at times you can't bare to sit and watch him struggle for each breath.

 (guess this is proof we got a little sleep in the hospital lol)

It was emotionally draining to pray and beg God to either let him stand up and walk out of the hospital or go to heaven to meet Him. It was gut-wrenching to watch my grandmother--his wife for 47 years--sleep in a hospital "recliner" next to his bed every nite.

 (my mom-o and pawpaw's last pic together...I'll cherish it for the rest of my life)

It was torture to have to go to work and be on edge all day because at any moment you could get a phone call telling you to leave and come back to the hospital because "it's time". Well, after the longest week of our lives a little after midnight on the morning of Monday, August 6, 2012, my Pawpaw finally got his peace. The fight was over. He met our God and has been dancing on the streets of gold ever since.

The funeral was a beautiful remembrance of his life. It was a celebration because of his 2 favorite things--God and his family. A close 3rd was his love for Yankees Baseball though lol.

This experience through the loss of my Pawpaw has taught me several things:

• Family will always stand by my side no matter what.
• I have wonderful supportive friends that held me up when I didn't feel I could stand.
• My employers are great because they gave me all the time I needed with my family--no questions asked.
• Love does exist--my grandparents were living proof of that.
• I need to get back in church because that's where God and my Pawpaw want me to be
• AJ is one of the most supportive, loving men I've ever met in my life and I am thankful for him.
• Sometimes it's okay to laugh even when all you want to do is cry.
• Sometimes strong people feel weak too--and that's okay.
• God has a plan through it all... even when we can't see it. 

Thank you for letting me share my journey with you all. God Bless! :-)

White Girl Homemade Broccoli Beef

So I made some Broccoli Beef and white rice one night a week or so ago. It was DELICIOUS if I might say so myself, but my favorite part about the night was that Cousin (no his name is not "cousin" but that's what I call him--not sure if I've ever mentioned him on here, but he's our "roommate" and my cousin) had a buddy over that night, and I told them that there were leftovers in the kitchen if they wanted some. Cousin loves when I cook. First of all, because he moved from living with our grandma to living with me, so he loves a good home cooked meal. Second, because he's not the most independent guy so cooking is kind of outta the question for him (haha if he sees this he will NOT agree). Well, anyway back to my story, Cousin was glad I cooked and got a big plate, however, his friend whom I've never cooked for before said (and I quote) "No offense, but I'm kind of afraid of a white girl in Oklahoma making Chinese food at home." haha I've never laughed so hard in my life, but long story short, he ate it and so I guess this small town white girl is a better cook than I thought. :-)

 

Now after all that bragging here's the recipe:

Ingredients:

Vegetable Oil

Cornstarch

Baking soda

Low-sodium soy sauce

Brown sugar

Head of Broccoli

Sugar

Flour

White Rice

Flank steak

First you must marinade the meat. I purchased about 1 3/4 lbs of flank steak from the grocery store. 

I bought it home and sliced it thin AGAINST the grain into strips like this:

 Here in this pic I am mixing the beef with the marinade. 

The marinade recipe goes as follows:

• 1 1/2 - 2 lbs flank steak
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 Tbsp cornstarch
• 1 Tbsp low sodium soy sauce (if not using low sodium I would use more sugar to counter ALL the salt)
• 1 Tbsp water
• 2 Tbsp Vegetable oil

Whisk together the ingredients then toss in beef. Marinade COVERED in the refrigerator for 45 minutes or longer.

While waiting on the meat to marinade, start preparing the head of broccoli by cutting into florets.

I used "boil in the bag" rice because it's quick and easy. I started boiling the water in a pot for the rice.

Then I started making the sauce:

 Sauce recipe (I prepared in a 2 cup measuring cup for easy pouring and less dishes) whisked together:

• 1/2 cup low-sodium soy sauce
• 2 Tbsp brown sugar (pictured above)
• 4 cloves of garlic minced (pictured below)
• 2 Tbsp flour
• 1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar (original recipe called for sherry. I did not have any on hand so I used an acid I had instead, and it was delicious)
• 3 Tbsp Vegetable oil

While the rice is boiling and now that the sauce is ready I started heating up 2 Tbsp of vegetable oil in a large skillet over HIGH heat. (Asian food is very quick cooking so all this prep needs to be done ahead of time so that it can be thrown together quickly to be prepared correctly.)

When the oil is hot and "shiny" or shimmering, put in broccoli florets. Saute about 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Broccoli will start to brown on edges quickly.

 

After 3 minutes it will not be "done", but remove it from the pan, and add another Tbsp of vegetable oil to pan and then add marinaded beef. 

Cook the beef with 1/2 of the sauce mixture and saute for 3-4 minutes or until beef is cooked through and no longer pink.

 Then, add the broccoli and the rest of the sauce mixture. Cook another 1 minute.

I then poured the rice into the bottom of a serving dish and topped it with the broccoli beef.

 It was THAT easy. Hope you all enjoy!

Busy, Busy Weekend

Did so much to our house this weekend, and I am one proud woman. AJ and a bunch of other helpers put a new roof on our house. Then I put a few helpers to work on some other exterior things. We took the ugly carpet off of our front porch, pulled weeds out/cleaned up the flower beds, painted the brick on the front of the house, painted the shutters, and then painted the front door. SUCCESS! I love how everything turned out. I am so proud of our house. I have been proud of the inside for awhile but never really loved the "curb appeal", but now that has all changed. Still indecisive about the front door color though. It turned out "Tiffany Blue" which wasn't exactly what I was going for, but it's some $5 clearance paint I found at Lowe's so I can't really complain. Going to post a few pics for you to enjoy then headed to bed for some much needed rest... hope you all enjoyed your Holiday Weekend and didn't work nearly as hard as we did. :-)

 The white trim on the door around the window is now black to match the doorknob. I haven't taken an updated pic yet...

Memories make my heart smile

I haven't written in awhile... I've had a rough couple of weeks, and I really want to keep my blog as a positive fun way to keep memories alive for the future. All the things I had to write about for these last couple weeks haven't been pleasant or happy so I've taken a break from writing on here until now. I am ready to smile. I am ready to be happy despite all the sadness and busyness.

In my last post, I told of the loss of my great aunt. Sadness came over me by having to type those words. It made it feel real when I didn't want it to be. Then just two days later I found out a friend from high school was in a terrible motorcycle wreck and passed away the next day. I have maybe only seen him once or twice since high school because as you all know time passes, life moves on, and people don't see each other as much. Even though we weren't really friends anymore, it doesn't mean I wasn't effected by his death. I am overcome with grief by his leaving of this Earth. He was so young--I'm so young. Too young to leave his family. He had a baby girl on the way--so hard for me to come to terms with this all. Then a couple days after the news of his death, I learned that my grandpa (not the one who has been sick) was having surgery and would spend some time in the hospital *he's doing better now.

It seems like everywhere I have turned for the last couple weeks all I wanted to do was cry, but most times I was too stunned by what was going on that no tears would form. Then, this past Friday, we had my Aunt Wanda's funeral. It was simple and beautiful and just what she wanted. My pawpaw did a wonderful job of helping us remember what a great woman she was. It made me smile to think of her. Then, my mom-o (that's what we call my dad's mom--long story) spoke of my aunt. As she began to remember her, I couldn't help but cry. I was surrounded by the people that loved her most, and all I could think of how much my grandma would miss her aunt--not just because she helped take care of her in the end, but because they were so very close. They were close like sisters, and so much fun to be around together. It always seemed like my Aunt Wanda brought out the fun in all of us. As tears began to flow down my cheeks for one of the first times since her death, I could not make them stop. My daddy hugged me, and that just made me cry harder. I sure do miss that woman so much already.

I laugh now because I promised in the beginning of this post that I was finally ready to not be a "debbie downer" with this post. I guess I was not. Just trying to find the way to remember without being so sad. Thanks for letting me pour my heart out once again. :-)

Smiling through the tears

Tonight I sit here lost deep in thought with a heavy heart. I woke up this morning (more accurately it was afternoon) to a text message from my daddy. All it said was "Aunt Wanda passed away this morning". The only thing that escaped my mouth was "Oh, no"... twice... AJ sleepily asked me what was wrong, and I told him the news we'd been waiting to hear but dreading all the same.

My Aunt Wanda was one of the funniest women I've ever met in my life. She was technically my dad's great aunt--my great grandma's little sister. She was in her early 80's when she passed today, and she was like an "extra" grandma to me growing up. Her kids/grandkids live in California and Arizona, and she lived out west with them and in Oklahoma with us off and on throughout my life. The times she was with her immediate family I missed having her around, but then again I knew that she was with the ones she loved the most. When I was in middle school, it was one of the times she was living here, and my parents had just divorced and her husband passed away, so my dad moved in with her; therefore, every other weekend not only did I spend the weekends with my dad, but also, my Aunt Wanda. I guess she was in her late 60's/early 70's at the time, and she had more energy than women half her age. I loved the time spent with her. She would cook us dinner--before she retired she was the head of the nutrition department for a large school district in California. I loved when she cooked for us. She's the only person in our family with a culinary background, maybe that's where I get my love to cook and love for my job. She tried to teach me to sew, now I wish I had learned. She used to threaten to beat my brother or dad with her shoe, I believed she'd do it. She was inappropriate and wonderful. She cussed like a sailor and no matter how badly my parents didn't want her to in front of us, she did it anyway. She was the epitome of the idea that when you get old you can say or do anything because you've earned the right. She never pretended to be anyone but herself. I loved that most about her.

 (Aunt Wanda and Colt Wesson September 2011)

She got frail and sick with age and moved back to Oklahoma a little less than a year ago. I think she knew her time was coming so she came back here to rest in peace where her husband of so many years passed away as well. She had my grandma here to help take care of her. She had my dad and his sisters too. I'm glad she knew she was loved here. I'm glad she got to meet AJ. I'm glad she really liked him. I'm glad she got to meet my sweet nephew Colt (her great, great, great nephew). I'm sad my future children will never get the pleasure of knowing her. I'm sad I didn't take the time to go to the nursing home to tell her I loved her just one last time. I'm sad that it takes situations like this for my WHOLE family to come together again for the funeral.  I'm sad that her granddaughter that she raised won't be able to make it for the funeral because of selfish decisions. I'm hurt by selfishness, but I'm hurt the most from the loss of a woman that truly broke the mold. I strive to be as bold as she was in her life. I strive to be a strong woman like her. I strive to keep her strength alive by remembering her.

Today was not a good day for me, but as I sit here now and remember, I can smile through the tears because I know she's not in pain anymore. I also know that the world lost a great woman today...

Choosing My Battles

A life lesson I have not thought much about in the past is "choosing my battles". I am one of those people that practices this valuable caution, but I'd never really thought about the importance of it until recently; it seems like every time I turn around lately I want to look so many people in the face and scream "Choose your battles! This is not worth it!"

It all started a couple weeks ago on facebook. I am a very firm believer in keeping drama out of social media sites. I also think that some things honestly are not the business of the world and shouldn't be shared so publicly. A "friend" on facebook (I use quotes because she's an acquaintance) decided that her status was the best place to discuss her relationship issues. Someone pointed out (nicely in my opinion) that facebook wasn't the place to discuss such a private issue--the war was on! It turned into a giant issue between everyone posting comments as it will do on social media sites. Everyone was either defending the boyfriend or defending her and bashing the boyfriend or telling her that facebook wasn't the place to address it.

This situation made me realize that I have way more respect for AJ than that. I strongly believe that if you have an issue with your "other half" then it should remain between the two of you. Whether it's venting to a friend, mentioning to my mom an issue I have with him, or putting him on blast on facebook-it is not for me. I realize that I love him so much that even though I may be frustrated with him at the time, but I will forgive him. We will be okay because I love him, but my friends/family will always have the thoughts in the back of their minds of when he hurt me. Even if I'm over it, it may change their view of him, and that is not my desire. I also have more respect for him as a man to not put something that I think he "did wrong" all over facebook. He, as the love of my life, does not deserve to be treated that way by anyone--especially me.

The next situation that taught me this important lesson was my employees. It seems like the story of my life at work is choosing my battles. I realize that my staff is not perfect and there are thousands of little things I might do differently or would change about the way things happen, but that does not mean that every single thing every single time will get pointed out by me. I've realized that there is "more than one way to skin at cat" and as long as they are properly doing their job there are a few things that can be overlooked in order to keep up morale. So, I choose carefully which battles I choose to fight... which I as the manager will win. haha.

Just a little rambling that's been on my mind lately...

Joys of Adulthood

First of all, I want to give a quick update on my pawpaw... he went back to the doctor yesterday for his follow-up appointment after surgery last week and we got a wonderful report. The mass they removed last week was superficial so when they removed it they definitely got it all so no chemo and after monday no more catheter!!! Thank you so much for your prayers!

Other than that exciting news let's see... what has been going on in my world?!?! I have been a busy busy woman lately it seems. I had a three day weekend last weekend which I couldn't have been more excited about, and I have another one this weekend--talk about a lucky girl! (I traded shifts with another manager because he is going to Vegas in a week and then I will be working 11 days straight without a day off so I will be less excited then haha.)

We went to the Full Moon Cafe in Tulsa last Saturday night with another couple and had so much fun! I didn't know the place even existed. For those of you that enjoy a casual drink and dueling pianos this is the place to go! I used to go to piano bars all the time when I lived in Florida and I LOVE them, but I didn't even know there was one so close to home. I will definitely be dragging AJ back there soon.

Then Sunday my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew came over for dinner. They came over so my brother could try to fix my dryer that decided to DIE last week--one of the not so fun things about being an adult, but oh, how I love spending time with them. Let me take this opportunity to tell you my favorite part about being a "grown-up". I love that my brother and I (who are only 17.5 months apart) can be so close. I consider him and his wife to be some of my very best friends. In high school, I never would've guessed I could say that about him, but it's true. I love that we've grown up and learned to appreciate and love one another. I love my sister-in-law not only because of the great friend she is to me, but also, the wonderful wife she is to my brother and mother she is to my nephew. I hope that when my younger siblings (they are 18, 15, and 12) grow up we can all be as close and that they have as amazing spouses as well--being the oldest of 5 I want lots and lots of nieces and nephews and bunches of in-laws. :-)

Showing off a pic of my nephew and his cool tricks... or maybe he was "saving it for later" either way he's pretty impressive in my opinion lol.

Then my Monday off was pretty un-eventful. I relaxed at home all day and did some dishes and picked up the house a little (which now on Friday you can't tell I did anything--oh well, another one of the things I DON'T love about being a grown-up lol). Tuesday it was back to work then dinner with a good friend--and the borrowing of the washer and dryer so I could have clean clothes for work because my brother was not successful at fixing my dryer on Sunday :-(

Wednesday I got to see my sweet nephew again. Wednesdays are our days together and I cherish that time with him so much--I've been babysitting him at least one day a week since he was 5 weeks old and I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything in the whole wide world, but this Wednesday his mommy was sick so she was going to drop him off and then go back home to be sickly. Plans changed and she ended up sickly on my couch all morning then taking him home early. I was sad to see him leave early and sad to see her sick but so glad to spend one on one time with her--that doesn't happen nearly often enough.

Thursday boring except the part where we got the good report on my pawpaw! I passed out Pampered Chef catalogs to potential customers then went to work. Today I went and got my nails done--two and half hours later they are super cute. I've had a pretty great night at work. I found out my nephew started walking--can't wait to see it for myself. I'm going to try and get some sleep tonight because I have some exciting super secret plans for this weekend (more details on monday after I get back from my trip and the secret will be over and I can explain how exciting it is)...

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend! God Bless! :-)

Heartache

Today was one of those days that you are afraid to say "what else could go wrong today?" because then it will.

We found out my Pawpaw (my dad's dad) has prostate cancer--prayers appreciated. We won't know how bad it is until next week when they do surgery. I am sad that he is in bad health, and it seems he can't catch a break (about a year and half ago they found an unrelated mass on his brain). He is one of the Godliest men I know. I admire him for all he has done for our entire family. He is our rock--but so humble about it that it's like he doesn't even know that's the way he is. I used to be much closer to my grandparents when I was young (like age 8 and younger), and I have very fond memories of my grandparents' old house in the country and playing outside in the summertime.

I remember watching star trek sitting on my grandparents' bed with my Pawpaw eating popcorn. I had ZERO interest in the show. I really just wanted to steal his popcorn and listen to him try to explain a show to me that I had no idea what he was talking about--I still don't get the point of the show.

Over the years, we just kind of all grew apart, and I grew up and things kind of changed. One thing will always remain the same, my Pawpaw is one of the kindest, giving, and Godly men I know. He raised my dad and his sister like they were his own since my dad was like 5 years old, and for that, I have the utmost respect. I think it takes the greatest courage to raise a child as your own and give them your last name because it is the RIGHT thing to do even if it's not the EASY thing to do. My Pawpaw made my daddy to be the wonderful man he is today and for that I will always be grateful. Because my Pawpaw was such a good and generous man to my Mom-o (my dad's mom--long story why that's her name lol) and her children, I will always be gracious. I will always know I have him to thank to have been raised with the values and the morals that have been instilled in me since day one.

My prayer for my Pawpaw is that he won't have to suffer. Whether God has a miracle in the works and wants to heal him, or if He's planning on taking him home, my prayer is that he isn't in pain. I pray that my family is prepared for this upcoming battle and that it makes us stronger rather than dividing us. I pray that my Mom-o is ok. I pray that she is strong enough for this battle. I pray that she feels the love of our family as well as God's love surrounding her. I pray for my sweet cousin who was practically raised by my grandparents. I pray that he can accept what is coming and deal with it accordingly--no matter how hard that may be. Lastly, I pray for my daddy and his two sisters. I pray that they might have the strength to be helpful and come closer through all of this. I pray that their "other halves" will step up and be what they need them to be during this difficult journey. I pray that I might be the best daughter/niece/granddaughter/cousin through all of this and be as supportive and comforting as they need. I pray for peace--in our minds and souls about this situation.

Thank you all for "listening" to my heartache tonight.

Change is Good

Today I woke up and went to a baby shower for a sweet friend of mine--an old co-worker. She's expecting a little girl. I am so happy for her and enjoyed catching up with friends I hadn't seen in awhile. Today was a reminder that change is good. Even though I have a new job now and we don't see each other often, I know that I still have true friends I can count on. In my opinion, those are the best kinds of friends--the ones that you don't have to talk to every day, but you know that they are there no matter what because they're that good of a friend--just a phone call away.

After all the baby shower festivities, my mom came over and spent quality time with me painting my kitchen. So excited! I love the new color and my kitchen looks SO much better (even thought it didn't look bad before it wasn't what I preferred). It's now a neutral tan (rather than bright red and sage green). So now I feel like the walls need something bolder on them. Now I see that the decor that was on the bright walls isn't bright/dark enough to be on the tan walls... Well guess that means I get to go shopping. Oh, darn. I guess I will take one for the team and go shopping for stuff for my kitchen--MY FAVORITE THING TO DO!

Also, this comes at a perfect time because I am having my first Pampered Chef party next weekend. I am also very excited about this. I finally signed up to be an Independent Consultant for Pampered Chef last week. My starter kit was delivered on Thursday, and it felt like Christmas at my house! I just kept opening more and more boxes of great kitchen gadgets and products. I cannot wait until everyone is at my house next week for my party so I can show off all these great products!

Hope you all are enjoying your weekend as much as I am... Tomorrow we're headed to spend time with AJ's family for his grandpa's 80th birthday--excited to get to spend time with his family and share in the joy of this amazing milestone of 80 years....

I made a quick salsa for the birthday party that is my favorite and so very easy.

Recipe:
2 cans original Rotel
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can chunky Rotel
half a bunch of Cilantro
4 green onions
4 garlic cloves
juice of 1 lime
salt to taste

Put one can of original Rotel, Cilantro, 2 green onions (green and whites), garlic cloves, and salt into food processor until smooth.

Open the other cans and put contents in a large bowl. Add the blended mixture from food processor. Add other 2 green onions (green and whites) sliced into small rounds. Add juice of lime. Let sit in refrigerator for at least a couple hours to let flavors mix.

Serve with Tortilla chips.

Super Bowl = Super Food

I've been wanting to post about the yummy goodies I made for the Super Bowl this past Sunday, but silly me, I forgot to take pictures of these delicious foods. However, I got the recipes off of Pinterest. I will add the links from there and tell you what I did differently, if anything, to make it.

**Not all these pictures are not my own. They belong to the original poster. Please follow the link with the recipe to see the Original Post.**

Let's start with dessert--it's my favorite, and I've never really been a fan of "saving the best for last" anyway.

S'mores Krispy Treats
Link to Recipe from Pinterest
Although these do not have "Rice Krispie" cereal in it, they are made about the same way and are even more delicious.

The recipe calls for:
1/4 cup butter
1 (10 oz) bag regular marshmallows (I used mini marshmallows because I think they melt faster)
1 box of Golden Graham cereal (I broke up the box inside the bag to make both smaller and larger sizes before putting it in)
1-2 cups Chocolate Chips (I used semi-sweet mini chocolate chips)
Magic Shell (optional) (I did not use this)

Before I started I put my chocolate chips and about a cup of the marshmallows in the freezer. I melted the butter in a large pot, and then melted the marshmallows in the butter continuously stirring (just like in Rice Krispie treats). When the marshmallows had melted into a smooth mix, I added the partially broken up Golden Graham cereal. I let it stand for about a minute then I stirred in about 3/4 of the frozen chocolate chips (if you do not freeze them, I learned the hard way that it becomes a big chocolate mess instead of a pretty treat--still yummy but not pretty) and the frozen marshmallows. The chocolate and marshmallows start to melt a little but do not spread throughout the entire mixture, and I enjoyed this better than the last time I made it. I spread it into a buttered baking dish (I think mine was a 9"x11" pan) then topped it with the remaining frozen mini chocolate chips.


Next, I made Pizza Muffins. I have made these twice now and been a big crowd pleaser.

Pizza Muffins
Link to Recipe from Pinterest

This recipe calls for:

3/4 cup flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1 tablespoon Italian seasoning

pinch of red pepper flakes

3/4 cup whole milk (I used 2%)

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (I just realized that I did not add Parm but it was fine without it)

1 cup cubed pepperoni

1/2 cup store-bought pizza sauce (I used a jar of Marinara from the spaghetti sauce aisle instead of the pizza brand because I like it better)

I doubled this recipe and made 24 regular sized muffins... the recipe called for 24 mini muffins without doubling anything.

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

This is not in the recipe, but I browned up some Italian Sausage (the bulk kind not in the casing) and let it cool and drain on a paper towel covered plate. Then, I mixed up all the ingredients (I also added some garlic powder and onion powder--about a half of a teaspoon each) in a large bowl (including the sausage). Let stand for a few minutes--I took this time to spray cooking spray on the muffin tins and to chop up some cooked bacon (also not in the recipe). I then scooped out the mixture into the muffin tins (1/2 - 3/4 full--they do not rise much). Then I topped the muffins with chopped cooked bacon and shredded Colby and Montery Blend Cheese (also not in the recipe). Bake for 18-22 minutes. Then put on serving dish with heated marinara.

I also made some homemade buttermilk ranch dressing to go with this. I used Hidden Valley Buttermilk Recipe Packet with 1 cup of real mayo and 1 cup of buttermilk. Wisk together and let it stand in refrigerator for at least half an hour before serving.

I also made some Spinach Dip, but I will save that one for another day because I did not like the way it turned out and am looking for a new recipe.

Hope you all enjoy... Have a great weekend...

Success--or my version of it...

Another wonderful day in my life has me sitting here pondering life's most deepest thoughts. I ran across this quote on Pinterest, and it has me thinking... 

I love Reba--she's a good Oklahoma girl, and I love this quote.

My "wishbone" has me dreaming all the time. I think I've always kind of been a dreamer. When I was younger I wanted to be an editor for some big fashion magazine--wouldn't that be cool. Then, I wanted to write a book--still think it'd be fun. I got a little more realistic and decided it'd be exciting to own my own restaurant--by the way, I have since thought about it and realized it would be a whole lot of work and not realistic being a woman that would like to start a family...just have to have priorities I guess (and the older I get the more those priorities change). I would like to own my own business someday, but I guess that will be a bridge I will cross when I get to that point in my life.

My "backbone" is something I'm not sure I had for the first 20 years of my life. I was so nice (not that I think I'm a jerk now), but I was nice to a fault. I let people walk all over me. I would do anything anyone wanted/needed me to do without getting anything in return. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do things for people because I think I'm still pretty good at helping people, but I think if you are doing for others so much more than for yourself, you start getting taken advantage of and no one really respects you. There is nothing worse than not being respected in my opinion. It is an awful feeling when you realize that people will do or say anything to you because they know they can "get away with it", and you will still be there for them the next day because you don't stand up for yourself.

I'm not sure the exact moment that I found my backbone, but I remember the slow process of finding it. It was a rough battle that included a lot of heartache. I don't think I've cried so much in my life, before or after, than I did when I realized that no one was standing up for me--including myself. I found my self-respect and picked myself up off the floor and decided then and there that I would not be treated the way I had been treated most of my life anymore. I would not let my sweet spirit come across as a push-over any longer. I am much better at that now than I was then. I think working in restaurants has helped me a lot with getting thicker skin and being a stronger person in general. Waiting tables was something that really showed me people's true colors. It showed me that not everyone is nice, not everyone has good intentions, and not everyone is honest. I am thankful of everything I have learned, and that I have come out on top.

My "funnybone" is something I didn't always know that I had either. My brother has always been "the funny one." I don't know how many times in the last 10-15 years I have said "My brother is the funniest person I know" because it is true. He is hilarious. He can tell a story better than anyone I know. He can make me smile on the darkest of days. I love him so very much, but I kind of have him to thank for finding my humor I think--both making people laugh and being able to laugh at my own expense. My brother is only 17.5 months younger than me so we grew up very close, and he has picked on me for years. He cracks jokes about me/to me all of the time! Listening to him used to get to me. It used to hurt my feelings that he'd joke about me all the time--until I learned to "fight back" and learned how to better "take a joke." Now, I can tell one-liners and come-backs like nobody's business. He can pop off a joke, and I'm right there with him--back and forth every time we're together. The best though is when he and I have a mutual target such as a cousin, parent, friend, etc. We can pick on that person together all day long--aren't the funniest jokes at other people's expense (all in good fun of course--we're not bullies).

So, I guess my point in all this is that I feel like a pretty "successful" person these days. I don't see success as wealth or power. I see it as being a good-natured, dreaming, self-respecting person. A person that is an asset to society. I feel like I sometimes help make this world a little easier to live in for some people some days, and I feel like I appreciate and love the people around me. I don't think that's too much to ask for or expect from others--just a little mutual respect and tolerance in today's society is good for us all, in my opinion.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings and enjoy the rest of your week.

My Home Away From Home

As many of us did, I grew up watching Disney movies, watching the Disney Channel, and going to Walt Disney World with my family on vacation. We went to WDW as a family twice (and Disneyland once when I was too young to remember), and both times it was an experience I will never forget--even after all these years. My dad went for the first time when he was about the age I am now (the Disneyland trip I can't remember outside of pictures and a few blurry memories). He still talks about how much it meant to him to go--how awestruck he was with all the "magic". I formed some of my greatest childhood memories at WDW with my family and reliving the trip through pictures and stories over the years. All my dad and I could talk about was how much we wanted to go back. Actually, to this day my dad can say to me "I wanna go back", and I know exactly where he wants to go, and I agree I also want to go back to truly the "Happiest Place on Earth."

So when I was 21 years young and the opportunity presented itself, I applied for an internship to "go back" and work at the magical place that I hold so dear to my heart. Through some miracle I was accepted among the thousands that applied and January 2008 I loaded up my Pontiac Sunfire, and we (my Dad, stepmom, and sister Perri) hauled my car behind my brother's truck the 1155 miles from small town Oklahoma all the way to big ol Orlando, Florida where I would live, alone for the first time in my life, for the next seven months. Just being there was the greatest dream come true and most overwhelming feeling of my entire life. I couldn't believe I would be working where Mickey Mouse works. Even now it is humbling to think I was a part of something so big. I was in part the reason some families had a "magical" vacation rather than a mediocre one.

Find Printable Of This Quote Here

The day I moved into my Florida apartment (four years ago yesterday) was so exciting and scary at the same time. I lived with five other girls in a three bedroom/two bathroom apartment--yes, we got to know each other very well, very fast. I made some of my very best friends in that short seven months. To this day there are people that I met at Disney (some still live there), that I can call up, and they'll be there for me any time of day no matter what--which ironically is more than I can say about most of the people I am "friends" with here. I look back at that time in my life and realize how much it taught me about myself, my independence, and my ability to "make it." I grew up a lot while I was gone. It was a great opportunity for me to "find myself" and learn enough about what makes me happy (rather than trying to make everyone else happy).

The day I "graduated" from the Disney College Program--August 2008

Strangely, being that far away I also grew closer to my family--I guess it's true that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Then, I moved back home to Oklahoma, and it was bittersweet. I sure did miss my family and the stars in the big Oklahoma sky; however, it was so hard to say good-bye--I left a piece of my heart in Orlando the day I left. I will never be the same as I was before I left home in January; I am forever changed...for the better I believe. My heart stays with my friends and the happiness I hadn't felt in awhile before that wonderful experience. I owe so much gratitude to Orlando and Disney for helping me become "me." So that when I came home, I am now a happier person and more confident in the woman I have become. It's amazing how seven months and nearly 1200 miles can change so much in a person's life. They say home is where the heart and most of mine is here in Oklahoma with my family and AJ, but a piece will forever remain at Disney--my home away from home.

Getting Started

Well, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now but wasn't quite sure how to do it, what to write about, or if I had anything to say. After much thought (because I tend to overthink everything), I decided that I would finally do it. I would finally start sharing my thoughts with "the world"--at this point the world is just the laptop in front of me and myself, but I believe that this can become a bigger deal and create quite a following. My goals for this blog are to share my experiences with you, to give you a little inside insight into the service industry, and to capture memories for my family and the future. I don't know about you, but I am awfully excited about this and the possibility of greatness--and fun.

So, when I got more serious about writing this blog, I turned to the greatest way to share/get advice on the internet--Facebook. I asked a series of questions that I was curious about regarding blogs, but most importantly I wanted to know HOW... How do I know what to share? How do I start? How do I get a following? How do I know if what I'm writing is what people want to read? How do I know what I'm doing is right?

After much advice from such great women that shared their blogs with me, that shared what has worked for them, and that shared what they think I should do, it was very clear that everyone agreed that I should just share what's important to me and not worry about the future details. They think I should share whatever's on my mind, whatever's important at the time,  and whatever I think I want to share. What great advice! Why didn't I think of that?

So I guess now I will do a little introduction of myself (maybe I should've started there...but oh well). My name is Kristen. I'm a 25 year old Southern woman from a little town in Oklahoma. My boyfriend is A.J. (a.k.a. the most wonderful man in the world) and we have been together for almost three years. I couldn't ask for a better partner for me. We own our own house. He provides for me. He would do anything in the whole world for me... Guess it's true love then huh? It is for me. Now, just waiting on that "rock". I know it's happening soon and trust me--It WILL be updated on here as soon as it happens!

Here's a picture of the happy couple...

Aww aren't we cute?!?



A little more about me--I'm a manager of a restuarant. It is an interesting line of work, but I love it. There's never a dull moment. I'm sure there will be plenty of stories that will come up on here about it--I know you can't wait to hear them lol. Also, I'm an aunt of the greatest, most adorable 7 1/2 month old nephew in the world--love him so very much, and I'm not sure how I survived the first 24 years of my life without him. I'm also the oldest of 5 kids (I have 3 brothers and 1 sister) and the greatest mom, dad, and step-mom ever. I'm so very blessed to have the best family a girl could ask for. I can't wait to share more of my life with you, but that will have to be saved for another day and another time.

Thank you so very much for reading my first post. I hope you liked it, and hopefully you will enjoy the rest of my posts as well.