Is a fish stupid because it can't climb a tree?

I saw a quote tonight that has me thinking.

"Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." --Albert Einstein

I think it is interesting how the mind works. Everyone thinking differently about the exact same thing amazes me. I'll admit sometimes it is extremely frustrating to explain something to someone every different way you can think of while they stare blankly back at you like "huh?"; however, I know that there are certain things I "don't get" or perceive totally backwards from how others do.

For example, I often forget how long I've been in the restaurant business and that things that I find as "common sense" sometimes are only second nature to me because I've been around this atmosphere for so long that certain things are "no brainers" for me but may not be for others. I started waiting tables when I was 19 (nearly 7 years ago), and many things were brand new to me and I had no idea what I was doing. I try to think back and remember the first time I ever rolled silverware, something I'm a bit of an expert at now and could probably do in my sleep, when we have new employees so that I don't get frustrated with having to explain "simple tasks". I remember the girl that was training me, and we all sat down at this big round table with tons of silverware in front of us with stacks of napkins and "tabs" to hold them together. I had no clue what I was doing or if I would ever be as fast as those other girls. The trainer looked at me shocked when I said, "Can you show me how? I've never done this before."

At least every other week or two we have new servers in training at the restaurant, and I often have to remind myself that I once didn't know how things worked and had to be explained the things that today are now part of my auto-pilot behavior. This is one of my biggest weaknesses for me I think. It is hard for me to not get frustrated with the "dumb questions" that I get asked over and over day in and day out. I always think "Why is this so hard? What aren't they getting it? Why don't they know this already? Haven't I already explained this 73,268 times today?" And this is where my sarcasm comes in.

For anyone who knows me very well at all--especially the adult me--knows that I am one of the most sarcastic and quick-witted people around. This works to my advantage in social situations. If I am out with a group of people, it is not usually difficult for me to make conversation with people--even the ones I don't know very well. Usually this is because I will spout off something quickly. Some little meaningless "dig" into someone. It's all in good fun. Everyone laughs and we have fun. This is not always true for me in my job--especially with my newer employees.

I tend to answer questions that are in my mind "dumb" with sarcastic responses--not always on purpose, and they are not always received well. Some people view me as hateful or rude because of it even though 99% of the time in my life I have the best of intentions. I am an extremely empathetic person. I go above and beyond to make sure my employees have a schedule that they like as well as what works with their life. I feel like I am a pretty fair boss and a genuinely nice person. I feel like I have my employees' best interests at heart as well as the restaurant's. However, that is not always what is perceived because of these quick witted responses.

Here's an example from today (there are many more every single day): we have a mandatory training class scheduled for a day next week. As the manager that does the schedule, I am fully aware that this meeting occurs during some people's normally scheduled shifts. This class is being offered once in the morning and once in the afternoon in the same day. The schedule will be posted tomorrow for our employees to see even though it has been ready since Thursday (so I already know who is scheduled when and they do not). An employee asked me today "So what if we're scheduled at the time of that meeting? How are we supposed to go if we're scheduled to be here when we're supposed to be there because I always work on that day?" I looked at her and with a straight face said, "Well, believe it or not that girl that makes your schedule (me) is aware that you have to attend one or the other of that training class so you will be off in time to attend." It just rolls off my tongue. I should've probably been more sympathetic and explained for the 1,315th time this week that we are going to have them scheduled differently on that day than we normally do, but at that point I couldn't help but have the reaction of what do they think? We scheduled this class with no plan as to how they'd be scheduled? Wednesday we were just going to say "oh sorry we forgot we needed people to run the restaurant while this class is going on?" I guess it wasn't a dumb question I was simply tired of answering it over and over again as I do with every question ever asked. I wish I had an "off switch" for these responses because they probably make me seem like a jerk, but I'm the boss--aren't I supposed to be the jerk? haha. just kidding.

I guess the point to all my rambling is that I should start to give the benefit of the doubt to my employees and better explain things to them even if I think they should already know them. Even if it is something I've done a billion times, like rolling silverware, it may be their first time so I need to take a deep breath and think before I speak... even though if I turn over a new leaf on this subject  I know some of my more veteran employees will be quite disappointed without my responses to the "newbies" that aren't getting it, but you can't please them all I suppose.

You always hear them say "There's no such thing as dumb questions. Only dumb answers." Well, if you're ever wondering "What would be a dumb answer to this question?" I've probably got one for you.

Life may give you lemons, but it also gives you someone to help you make lemonade with them.

I feel so far behind. It's been over a week since I've written! I don't like it at all, but my life has been super crazy in the last week. Sunday was my first Pampered Chef party! I had so much fun. I'll be honest that the turn-out wasn't quite as amazing as I thought it was going to be, but the people closest to me plus an extra super special girl I hadn't seen in a while were there. I've had some additional orders outside of the party so it's going to work out pretty well for my first order being placed tomorrow.

So I spent the whole weekend cleaning to prepare for all the guests at my house. I finally finished my kitchen redecorating that I started the weekend before, and it looks pretty good if I might say so myself--especially since pretty much everything was "budget friendly".  (I will post pictures sometime soon)

Also, this week I learned how hard it is for me to not get overly invested in things/people. It's like when I care about something or someone I have to give it/them 110%. I guess that's not a completely bad thing, but it starts to wear on you. It's easier to get your heart broken by people or your feelings hurt if you care so much. I do it a lot with my employees too. It's hard for me when I find out one or some them have been talking about me--I take it so personally, but then I have to try to step back and realize, everyone talks about their boss at some time or another and it's not personal most of the time. SIGH.

 I posted on facebook about this exact subject because my feelings were hurt, and I was having an "emotional day" because female hormones are so lovely and sometimes you just get upset because you feel like it--or even if you don't feel like it...

 I ended up deleting the post on facebook today--about 24 hours later because it was pretty negative and I'm not usually the one to post negative things so publically. However, the response I received in that 24 hours was overwhelming. I realized that I DO have friends or at least people who are close enough to know my heart and know that I have good intentions--even when ranting on facebook. I appreciated all the encouragement and today was a much better day. I probably offended some people with how blunt I was about them talking behind my back, but I realized if they are guilty enough to get upset about it then they probably thought it was about them because they were guilty and had been doing it...so I feel less bad about that. It started out being in reference to a specific situation but really was more in general about how much people talk about other people and how much it frustrates me.

I have a lot of younger employees so I'm around the gossiping so much--it is exhausting sometimes to listen to all them bicker and fight with one another over the most trivial things, but I guess that's one of the joys of management huh?

On a happier note, last night AJ (after knowing how heartbroken I was over the gossiping) was even sweeter than he normally is. I have to tell you--he is a very sweet guys, but last night he let me ramble about girl stuff and didn't criticize or ignore me for "just being a girl." He genuinely loved me and held me until I felt all better, and that ladies and gentlemen is one of the 1,763,054,834 (approximately haha) reasons that I love him so very much. So thankful to have my soulmate by my side--no matter how much friends, family, or others in my life hurt my heart I know that he has it and is protecting it from the storm.

Order In

I must first start with telling you that I love my job. I love what I do--the busy, fast-paced work is exactly what I enjoy. It's not very monotonous, and I get to work with people, which I love. I believe that everyone should do what they enjoy--makes life a lot easier to bear when you are doing something you like especially considering how many hours/week you spend doing it. With that being said, I think that EVERYONE should be required to work in a restaurant for at least 6 months in their lives. You learn to be more patient, understanding, and the importance of alcohol--ok maybe not alcohol but the importance of having time to relax. It's the type of business that you work hard so you reward yourself with playing harder (with or without alcohol depending on your preference).

I have had some of the best times of my life while working in restaurants (I got in the business when I was 19 as a server and couldn't imagine doing anything different in my life right now). I have also learned some of the biggest lessons in life while doing this job. The greatest of all these lessons is to treat others with respect. Outward appearances are a "big deal" in today's society, but I'm here to assure you that some of the "best dressed" have been the most down-right awful people I've ever met. On the other hand, some of the people that may not have dressed/presented themselves as "high class" have been some of the most generous and nice people I have had the pleasure of serving--this is not true in all cases but it does happen so it proves that appearance isn't everything.

 Also, the most obvious thing it has taught me is the importance of tipping. In Oklahoma, servers make $2.13/hr plus tips. I know that it's not THAT low in every state because it's based on cost of living and minimum wage, but almost always servers make a lower than minimum wage rate of pay to offset the fact that they are also making tips. That means if you leave no tip (or practically no tip) for a server they are having to use that $2.13/hr to pay bills, feed their children, and buy gas to come back and forth to work for you to just come back the next week and not tip again. Can you imagine your boss walking up to you and saying "I'm sorry I'm too cheap to pay you today..." or "I'm sorry you weren't 'up to par' today so I'm not paying you rather than letting you know what you've done wrong". If either of those things happened you would be raising hell until you got the money owed to you for the job you had done--you're doing the same thing every single time you don't tip appropriately (at least 15-20% of the total is acceptable in case you were wondering).

Now that I've got that off my chest, I will step down from my soapbox and get back to my original point. I was certain when I started this blog that there would be plenty of stories about my colorful staff and the many adventures that happen at the restaurant day in and day out. They are an entertaining bunch to say the least. Tonight was a typical busy Saturday night and as some of the staff were getting off work they started sitting down at a table in the back of the dining room to eat and relax. There were several tables still eating. I realized I really had to pee (sorry for the overshare but I hadn't been all night and it was around midnight at this point) so I ran to the bathroom and about the time I sit down I hear laughter/screaming coming from the dining room just outside the bathroom door, and I think to myself, "If that's my employees out there making all that noise, just wait until I get ahold of them, it won't be pretty." So I finish my business and walk out of the stall as two of my servers come rushing in the door and frantically scream, "There's boobs on the tv! Like Girls Gone Wild! You can see everything! Hurry fix it!" And now I understand all the laughter I've been hearing for the last 90 seconds or so... I have just exposed the entire restaurant to full frontal nudity on the big screens. I'm mortified and frantically rushing to the AV tower (did I mention it's a restaurant/sports bar with approximately 50 tvs including 8 big screens and over half of them are showing scenes straight from a XXX site?). I hurry to change it and apologize to a few tables as I rush by them--thank goodness it was so late that there weren't young children around and my customers were still laughing about it, but I am embarrassed and may never live this down among the staff. I can hear it now "Do you remember that time you went to the bathroom and there were boobs on the tvs and we couldnt find you anywhere to get you to change the tvs because none of us knew how to change them?" Ahhh yes... I may hear about this forever....