Thursday, March 1, 2012

Heartache

Today was one of those days that you are afraid to say "what else could go wrong today?" because then it will.

We found out my Pawpaw (my dad's dad) has prostate cancer--prayers appreciated. We won't know how bad it is until next week when they do surgery. I am sad that he is in bad health, and it seems he can't catch a break (about a year and half ago they found an unrelated mass on his brain). He is one of the Godliest men I know. I admire him for all he has done for our entire family. He is our rock--but so humble about it that it's like he doesn't even know that's the way he is. I used to be much closer to my grandparents when I was young (like age 8 and younger), and I have very fond memories of my grandparents' old house in the country and playing outside in the summertime.

I remember watching star trek sitting on my grandparents' bed with my Pawpaw eating popcorn. I had ZERO interest in the show. I really just wanted to steal his popcorn and listen to him try to explain a show to me that I had no idea what he was talking about--I still don't get the point of the show.

Over the years, we just kind of all grew apart, and I grew up and things kind of changed. One thing will always remain the same, my Pawpaw is one of the kindest, giving, and Godly men I know. He raised my dad and his sister like they were his own since my dad was like 5 years old, and for that, I have the utmost respect. I think it takes the greatest courage to raise a child as your own and give them your last name because it is the RIGHT thing to do even if it's not the EASY thing to do. My Pawpaw made my daddy to be the wonderful man he is today and for that I will always be grateful. Because my Pawpaw was such a good and generous man to my Mom-o (my dad's mom--long story why that's her name lol) and her children, I will always be gracious. I will always know I have him to thank to have been raised with the values and the morals that have been instilled in me since day one.

My prayer for my Pawpaw is that he won't have to suffer. Whether God has a miracle in the works and wants to heal him, or if He's planning on taking him home, my prayer is that he isn't in pain. I pray that my family is prepared for this upcoming battle and that it makes us stronger rather than dividing us. I pray that my Mom-o is ok. I pray that she is strong enough for this battle. I pray that she feels the love of our family as well as God's love surrounding her. I pray for my sweet cousin who was practically raised by my grandparents. I pray that he can accept what is coming and deal with it accordingly--no matter how hard that may be. Lastly, I pray for my daddy and his two sisters. I pray that they might have the strength to be helpful and come closer through all of this. I pray that their "other halves" will step up and be what they need them to be during this difficult journey. I pray that I might be the best daughter/niece/granddaughter/cousin through all of this and be as supportive and comforting as they need. I pray for peace--in our minds and souls about this situation.

Thank you all for "listening" to my heartache tonight.

4 comments:

  1. I'll be praying for your family, Kristen. That is heartbreaking.

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    1. Thank you kasady... They have to be at the hospital at 8am for surgery... So we'll know more in a few hours...

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    2. I saw where Shelly posted they thought they got it all. Is he still doing well? How are you holding up?

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    3. Yes they think they got it all... we'll know for sure next week. I'm excited--this is the lesser of two evils... i'm holding up... thank you so much for ur thoughts and kind words...

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