Is a fish stupid because it can't climb a tree?

I saw a quote tonight that has me thinking.

"Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." --Albert Einstein

I think it is interesting how the mind works. Everyone thinking differently about the exact same thing amazes me. I'll admit sometimes it is extremely frustrating to explain something to someone every different way you can think of while they stare blankly back at you like "huh?"; however, I know that there are certain things I "don't get" or perceive totally backwards from how others do.

For example, I often forget how long I've been in the restaurant business and that things that I find as "common sense" sometimes are only second nature to me because I've been around this atmosphere for so long that certain things are "no brainers" for me but may not be for others. I started waiting tables when I was 19 (nearly 7 years ago), and many things were brand new to me and I had no idea what I was doing. I try to think back and remember the first time I ever rolled silverware, something I'm a bit of an expert at now and could probably do in my sleep, when we have new employees so that I don't get frustrated with having to explain "simple tasks". I remember the girl that was training me, and we all sat down at this big round table with tons of silverware in front of us with stacks of napkins and "tabs" to hold them together. I had no clue what I was doing or if I would ever be as fast as those other girls. The trainer looked at me shocked when I said, "Can you show me how? I've never done this before."

At least every other week or two we have new servers in training at the restaurant, and I often have to remind myself that I once didn't know how things worked and had to be explained the things that today are now part of my auto-pilot behavior. This is one of my biggest weaknesses for me I think. It is hard for me to not get frustrated with the "dumb questions" that I get asked over and over day in and day out. I always think "Why is this so hard? What aren't they getting it? Why don't they know this already? Haven't I already explained this 73,268 times today?" And this is where my sarcasm comes in.

For anyone who knows me very well at all--especially the adult me--knows that I am one of the most sarcastic and quick-witted people around. This works to my advantage in social situations. If I am out with a group of people, it is not usually difficult for me to make conversation with people--even the ones I don't know very well. Usually this is because I will spout off something quickly. Some little meaningless "dig" into someone. It's all in good fun. Everyone laughs and we have fun. This is not always true for me in my job--especially with my newer employees.

I tend to answer questions that are in my mind "dumb" with sarcastic responses--not always on purpose, and they are not always received well. Some people view me as hateful or rude because of it even though 99% of the time in my life I have the best of intentions. I am an extremely empathetic person. I go above and beyond to make sure my employees have a schedule that they like as well as what works with their life. I feel like I am a pretty fair boss and a genuinely nice person. I feel like I have my employees' best interests at heart as well as the restaurant's. However, that is not always what is perceived because of these quick witted responses.

Here's an example from today (there are many more every single day): we have a mandatory training class scheduled for a day next week. As the manager that does the schedule, I am fully aware that this meeting occurs during some people's normally scheduled shifts. This class is being offered once in the morning and once in the afternoon in the same day. The schedule will be posted tomorrow for our employees to see even though it has been ready since Thursday (so I already know who is scheduled when and they do not). An employee asked me today "So what if we're scheduled at the time of that meeting? How are we supposed to go if we're scheduled to be here when we're supposed to be there because I always work on that day?" I looked at her and with a straight face said, "Well, believe it or not that girl that makes your schedule (me) is aware that you have to attend one or the other of that training class so you will be off in time to attend." It just rolls off my tongue. I should've probably been more sympathetic and explained for the 1,315th time this week that we are going to have them scheduled differently on that day than we normally do, but at that point I couldn't help but have the reaction of what do they think? We scheduled this class with no plan as to how they'd be scheduled? Wednesday we were just going to say "oh sorry we forgot we needed people to run the restaurant while this class is going on?" I guess it wasn't a dumb question I was simply tired of answering it over and over again as I do with every question ever asked. I wish I had an "off switch" for these responses because they probably make me seem like a jerk, but I'm the boss--aren't I supposed to be the jerk? haha. just kidding.

I guess the point to all my rambling is that I should start to give the benefit of the doubt to my employees and better explain things to them even if I think they should already know them. Even if it is something I've done a billion times, like rolling silverware, it may be their first time so I need to take a deep breath and think before I speak... even though if I turn over a new leaf on this subject  I know some of my more veteran employees will be quite disappointed without my responses to the "newbies" that aren't getting it, but you can't please them all I suppose.

You always hear them say "There's no such thing as dumb questions. Only dumb answers." Well, if you're ever wondering "What would be a dumb answer to this question?" I've probably got one for you.

Appalled

Sorry Folks, but I need to do a little venting because I am in shock of something that happened this evening. (There is a little graphic language in this because it is dialouge in the story so please keep that in mind when reading.)

A little backstory...

A few months ago it was kind of getting late in the night, and I was at work--there weren't many customers in the restuarant at the time. One of my servers came into the kitchen crying because a man was being rude to her. She said he was angry and rude because there was lettuce on his burger and was apologizing to me because she didn't remember him asking for no lettuce. I calmed down my employee and fixed the man's burger and walked into the dining room (took a total of about 3 minutes to fix). I found the man angrily standing in front of the entrance to the kitchen--waiting to speak to me. I smiled and told him I had fixed his burger, and while holding it in my hand, he continued to belittle and scream at me about how incompetent he thought my employee was for putting lettuce on his burger. (Does any one else see a problem with anyone getting this angry at a stranger over lettuce?!?)

He refused to eat the burger or even take it to go--even though it was IN MY HAND and fixed. He left angry and swore he'd never be back; however, the next day he returned when I wasn't there and joked with the staff and manager on duty at the time laughing while saying "I was an asshole to those girls last night."

Since then he's been in a couple times, always speaks and is genuinely pleasant to me, and I try not to hold it against him. BUT we still fondly refer to him as "the burger guy" haha...

Then tonight....

A friend and I went to a local restaurant for her to have a late dinner, and I was going to have dessert and sit with her so she didn't have to eat alone. We were seated at a booth in the back--there were only about 3 other tables in the restaurant including a couple at one booth right behind us and then a couple guys at the bar--one of which happens to be one of my employees.

My friend was texting and receiving messages while we sat and waited on the server to bring our drinks and take our order. The woman at the booth behind us said something (I'm assuming asking what the noise was) I didn't understand and he loudly said "I guess it's someone's f***ing phone going off!" I asked her if she heard him--she hadn't and then she put her phone on silent so it wouldn't disturb anyone including them.

The server brought our drinks and there was a piece of ice stuck to the side of the glass. I was talking to my friend while trying to get it unstuck with my straw and knocked my glass over! It was embarrassing because I hadn't even taken a drink out of it yet, and it almost went all over my friend. The woman from the next booth again yelled "That's what you get you stupid bitch!" I was shocked. Then my employee joked from the bar "Hey, Kristen! Do you need a lid?" I joked back "I think I need a sippie cup!" We laughed and the man then said loudly "I think you need a f***ing babysitter too!"

I am a 25 year old adult professional woman in a nearly empty restaurant being treated so horribly by a stranger that I nearly LOST it. I was angry I needed to walk away. So I went to the restroom to get away and chatted with my employee and his friend at the bar briefly and walked back to the table...having to walk past the angry booth to get back to my seat. Apparently while I was in the bathroom, the couple was still angrily speaking loudly about us and my friend turned around and said to them calmly "Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say then you probably shouldn't say it?" The woman yelled back something about jumping over the booth to get at my friend.

They were packing up to go boxes and about to leave when I walked past them, but I got a good enough look at him to realize he was "The Burger Guy" and it ALL made sense.

Although when this all happened his back had been toward me, so there was no way he knew it was me before I went to the restroom, but the attitude made sense. It is clear that he/they do not care who you are or if there is a reason--they will be rude. I am still in shock at the way this situation unfolded (over a cell phone getting text messages at 10pm in a nearly empty restaurant). Some people have ZERO respect for people or know how to behave appropriately....

The King to my Kingdom

This may be my favorite post to write so far, but now, I'm not sure where to begin. With it being Valentine's Day I figured it'd only be fitting to tell you more about the love of my life, the man that puts a smile on my face like no one else on Earth can. He is truly my other half. It's that Ying-Yang thing. We balance each other but fit together perfectly all at the same time. I never thought I'd ever fall in love, let alone have that mind-numbing, life-altering kind of love.

We met, and he never left my mind. We didn't speak again but once or twice after meeting. Then, nearly two years later we started dating, and I've never looked back. In May, we will celebrate our three year anniversary, and I couldn't be more happy. Sometime between now and our anniversary (I'm pretty sure--fingers crossed) I will become his fiancee instead of just his girlfriend. I cannot wait. I love being with him. I love everything about him. I cannot wait to plan our wedding and our future together.

I love even the smallest little things about him. I love the way he smells after a shower. I love the way he kisses me on the cheek. I love the way he drives me crazy while I'm trying to cook dinner, and he thinks he needs to come help. I love the way he looks at me--whether we're home alone or in a room full of people he gives me this smile that only he can give me. I love that he'd do ANYTHING in the world for me--like the time he drove to the store at 1am to get milk because I poured cereal and then noticed we were out. I love how he gets frustrated when I don't understand when he tries to explain things (I mean I'm a girl and some stuff I just don't get because I'm not a boy). I love that he knows how to do some many things--he's very handy, and I appreciate him for that. I love that he is a hardworking man that endures so many hours at work just to provide for me. I love that he can make me laugh even when I really don't want to. I love how goofy he is sometimes--but also how sincere he is. I love how well he treats my family--especially my sweet nephew. I love how sometimes he gets a little jealous--it's cute--not like the super creepy, scary jealousy. I love him because no matter what I know that he has my back--against anyone. I love the way he loves me--unconditionally.

Success--or my version of it...

Another wonderful day in my life has me sitting here pondering life's most deepest thoughts. I ran across this quote on Pinterest, and it has me thinking... 

I love Reba--she's a good Oklahoma girl, and I love this quote.

My "wishbone" has me dreaming all the time. I think I've always kind of been a dreamer. When I was younger I wanted to be an editor for some big fashion magazine--wouldn't that be cool. Then, I wanted to write a book--still think it'd be fun. I got a little more realistic and decided it'd be exciting to own my own restaurant--by the way, I have since thought about it and realized it would be a whole lot of work and not realistic being a woman that would like to start a family...just have to have priorities I guess (and the older I get the more those priorities change). I would like to own my own business someday, but I guess that will be a bridge I will cross when I get to that point in my life.

My "backbone" is something I'm not sure I had for the first 20 years of my life. I was so nice (not that I think I'm a jerk now), but I was nice to a fault. I let people walk all over me. I would do anything anyone wanted/needed me to do without getting anything in return. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do things for people because I think I'm still pretty good at helping people, but I think if you are doing for others so much more than for yourself, you start getting taken advantage of and no one really respects you. There is nothing worse than not being respected in my opinion. It is an awful feeling when you realize that people will do or say anything to you because they know they can "get away with it", and you will still be there for them the next day because you don't stand up for yourself.

I'm not sure the exact moment that I found my backbone, but I remember the slow process of finding it. It was a rough battle that included a lot of heartache. I don't think I've cried so much in my life, before or after, than I did when I realized that no one was standing up for me--including myself. I found my self-respect and picked myself up off the floor and decided then and there that I would not be treated the way I had been treated most of my life anymore. I would not let my sweet spirit come across as a push-over any longer. I am much better at that now than I was then. I think working in restaurants has helped me a lot with getting thicker skin and being a stronger person in general. Waiting tables was something that really showed me people's true colors. It showed me that not everyone is nice, not everyone has good intentions, and not everyone is honest. I am thankful of everything I have learned, and that I have come out on top.

My "funnybone" is something I didn't always know that I had either. My brother has always been "the funny one." I don't know how many times in the last 10-15 years I have said "My brother is the funniest person I know" because it is true. He is hilarious. He can tell a story better than anyone I know. He can make me smile on the darkest of days. I love him so very much, but I kind of have him to thank for finding my humor I think--both making people laugh and being able to laugh at my own expense. My brother is only 17.5 months younger than me so we grew up very close, and he has picked on me for years. He cracks jokes about me/to me all of the time! Listening to him used to get to me. It used to hurt my feelings that he'd joke about me all the time--until I learned to "fight back" and learned how to better "take a joke." Now, I can tell one-liners and come-backs like nobody's business. He can pop off a joke, and I'm right there with him--back and forth every time we're together. The best though is when he and I have a mutual target such as a cousin, parent, friend, etc. We can pick on that person together all day long--aren't the funniest jokes at other people's expense (all in good fun of course--we're not bullies).

So, I guess my point in all this is that I feel like a pretty "successful" person these days. I don't see success as wealth or power. I see it as being a good-natured, dreaming, self-respecting person. A person that is an asset to society. I feel like I sometimes help make this world a little easier to live in for some people some days, and I feel like I appreciate and love the people around me. I don't think that's too much to ask for or expect from others--just a little mutual respect and tolerance in today's society is good for us all, in my opinion.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings and enjoy the rest of your week.