Thursday, February 2, 2012

Success--or my version of it...

Another wonderful day in my life has me sitting here pondering life's most deepest thoughts. I ran across this quote on Pinterest, and it has me thinking... 

I love Reba--she's a good Oklahoma girl, and I love this quote.

My "wishbone" has me dreaming all the time. I think I've always kind of been a dreamer. When I was younger I wanted to be an editor for some big fashion magazine--wouldn't that be cool. Then, I wanted to write a book--still think it'd be fun. I got a little more realistic and decided it'd be exciting to own my own restaurant--by the way, I have since thought about it and realized it would be a whole lot of work and not realistic being a woman that would like to start a family...just have to have priorities I guess (and the older I get the more those priorities change). I would like to own my own business someday, but I guess that will be a bridge I will cross when I get to that point in my life.

My "backbone" is something I'm not sure I had for the first 20 years of my life. I was so nice (not that I think I'm a jerk now), but I was nice to a fault. I let people walk all over me. I would do anything anyone wanted/needed me to do without getting anything in return. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do things for people because I think I'm still pretty good at helping people, but I think if you are doing for others so much more than for yourself, you start getting taken advantage of and no one really respects you. There is nothing worse than not being respected in my opinion. It is an awful feeling when you realize that people will do or say anything to you because they know they can "get away with it", and you will still be there for them the next day because you don't stand up for yourself.

I'm not sure the exact moment that I found my backbone, but I remember the slow process of finding it. It was a rough battle that included a lot of heartache. I don't think I've cried so much in my life, before or after, than I did when I realized that no one was standing up for me--including myself. I found my self-respect and picked myself up off the floor and decided then and there that I would not be treated the way I had been treated most of my life anymore. I would not let my sweet spirit come across as a push-over any longer. I am much better at that now than I was then. I think working in restaurants has helped me a lot with getting thicker skin and being a stronger person in general. Waiting tables was something that really showed me people's true colors. It showed me that not everyone is nice, not everyone has good intentions, and not everyone is honest. I am thankful of everything I have learned, and that I have come out on top.

My "funnybone" is something I didn't always know that I had either. My brother has always been "the funny one." I don't know how many times in the last 10-15 years I have said "My brother is the funniest person I know" because it is true. He is hilarious. He can tell a story better than anyone I know. He can make me smile on the darkest of days. I love him so very much, but I kind of have him to thank for finding my humor I think--both making people laugh and being able to laugh at my own expense. My brother is only 17.5 months younger than me so we grew up very close, and he has picked on me for years. He cracks jokes about me/to me all of the time! Listening to him used to get to me. It used to hurt my feelings that he'd joke about me all the time--until I learned to "fight back" and learned how to better "take a joke." Now, I can tell one-liners and come-backs like nobody's business. He can pop off a joke, and I'm right there with him--back and forth every time we're together. The best though is when he and I have a mutual target such as a cousin, parent, friend, etc. We can pick on that person together all day long--aren't the funniest jokes at other people's expense (all in good fun of course--we're not bullies).

So, I guess my point in all this is that I feel like a pretty "successful" person these days. I don't see success as wealth or power. I see it as being a good-natured, dreaming, self-respecting person. A person that is an asset to society. I feel like I sometimes help make this world a little easier to live in for some people some days, and I feel like I appreciate and love the people around me. I don't think that's too much to ask for or expect from others--just a little mutual respect and tolerance in today's society is good for us all, in my opinion.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings and enjoy the rest of your week.

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